That's it...
I have fallen and I can't get up...
I'm just going to keep falling and falling...
I'm in too deep...
I can't turn back...
I'm not who used to be anymore...
I can't take it...
I'd wish this was a dream...
But dreams don't make you feel this way....
Satisfied...
Contented...
Why...
Why didn't I stop?...
I could have just let it pass me...
But no...
It had to consume me...
Taking every part of me...
And now, no matter where I go...
It haunts me...
And who ever I encounter...
They get damaged...
Even without touching them...
Oh terrible fate...
Forgiveness is nothing no more...
I can't ask for any...
I've already asked too much...
No, it's not ok...
I feel disgusted of myself...
Doing it at my very home...
And the stench...
That fowl stench...
It makes me want to kill myself...
It may not be as big as some would be...
But the very thought and idea of it makes me want to barf my heart out...
He can't save me now...
I'm too filled with sin...
I'm bathing in it....
What fool would be forsaken by the many...
True, it is accepted...
But only mere stories...
If anyone were to know...
I'd rather end it there and never show my face to the human world ever again...
What am I?...
Confused...?
No...
I know of this problem...
I knew I could fix it...
But now it's time for me to take it's punishment...
How shameful me...
At this age...
Would I not think that I have gotten used to it now...
I'd get tired of it and forget of it...
Disgusting...
Why..?
Why were we given such manly pleasures...?
If it can be so...
Let it be done unto me...
According to your word...
For I will not turn away...
I will take it as my severe punishment...
FOr my whole life time!